Jump to content

Welcome to the new Traders Laboratory! Please bear with us as we finish the migration over the next few days. If you find any issues, want to leave feedback, get in touch with us, or offer suggestions please post to the Support forum here.

  • Welcome Guests

    Welcome. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest which does not give you access to all the great features at Traders Laboratory such as interacting with members, access to all forums, downloading attachments, and eligibility to win free giveaways. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free. Create a FREE Traders Laboratory account here.

Mysticforex

Joke of The Day!

Recommended Posts

Guest OILFXPRO
you're pushing it too far.......watch language please

 

TW

 

it is christmas and I was being generous to all scammers operating message boards for scamming new unsuspecting visitors.The joke was a true story about scammers operating another message board.

 

glass, glass garlics is your true image , I suspected you for a long time.

 

My deep guilty concgience is now clear .

 

You are free to ban me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO

oilfxpro WAS BANNED BY MANY MESSAGE BOAT SCAMMERS

 

These scammers found trading tough and ran message boards

5aa7120de63dc_messageboardscammers.jpg.a6a733e0b7aacae51a4ea2fa891f6aa8.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I fail to find the joke in some messages, but I believe it is my poor language level.

Poor me wasting time to open messages I can't even understand...

 

I hear you.

 

Does anyone know what a "Message Boat" is ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO
I hear you.

 

Does anyone know what a "Message Boat" is ?

 

It is queer to educate the world when one can can not succeed at learning at the subject , you get help from some idiot who never succeeded , somebody who failed at it .Trading is tough and you get some queer person learn you how to make money on some internet scamming site..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO

why do forum queers delete good threads and keep poor content?

 

To earn from advertising of queer content or profit from their agenda.

 

They want to make it more intereting for readers in search o a needle in a haystack.

 

Misinformation is good information for queers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This must be an illustration of my poor English I was alluding. I know of brokers' boats but what does a message boat look like, Sir?

 

 

I think he meant board instead of boat. But, I think you can use either in the original post and the message will be the same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO

On his 76th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

 

The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation

who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction

 

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket

to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

 

The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned,

'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, then say '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been

and you can perform as long as you want."

 

The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked,

"How do I stop the medicine from working?"

 

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "but when she does,

the medicine will not work again till the next full moon."

 

He was eager to see if it worked. He went home, showered, shaved,

took a spoonful of the potion, then invited his wife

to join him in the bedroom.

 

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

 

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes,

and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

 

And that, boys and girls, is why we never end our sentences

with a preposition, because we end up

with a dangling participle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO

Trader is informed , his brain is not wired for trading , it is wired for him to fail at trading.He comes to a laboratory to rewire the brain for trading.After rewiring the brain starts short circuiting .He goes for another rewiring ,finally he gives up trading and becomes a vendor and snake oil salesman.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest OILFXPRO

Gordon Brown was looking for a call girl

 

He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.

 

To the blonde he said, 'I am the Prime Minister of England. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'

 

She replied, "£200."

 

To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was £100.

 

He then asked the redhead.

 

Her reply was, "Mr Prime Minister, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, and keep it rising like the price of petrol, keep me warmer than it is in my flat and fuck me the way you have the pensioners, then it isn't going to cost you a bloody penny!'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heaven vs. Hell

 

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the cars are German, the lovers are Italian, and it is all organized by the Swiss.

 

Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are English, the cars are French, the lovers are Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The Penis Study. The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.

 

One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"

 

The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."

 

Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."

 

The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"

 

The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Three nuns are talking. The first nun says, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nun asks. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun says, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasp the other nuns. "What did you do?" they ask. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replies. The third nun faints.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it Funny?

 

BASED on a TRUE STORY

 

M: Name of the game, move the money from your clients pocket. Into your pocket.

 

J: Right. But if you can make the clients money, at the same time, isn't that advantageous everyone, correct?

 

M: No, okay, number one rule of wall street. Nobody... Okay, if you are Warren Buffet or Jimmy Buffet, nobody knows if a stock's going up, down or sideways fu..ing in circle...

 

M: It's all in "Furgazy". You know what Furgazy is?

 

J: Yeah, "Furgazy".. It's a fake..

 

M: Yeah, Furgazy, it's fegazy, it's a wuzzy, it's..

 

M: Fairy dust, it doesn't exist. It's never landed, that is no matter, it's not on the elemental charge. It's not fu..ing real! Alright?

 

J: Alright.

 

M: Stay with me. We don't create shit. We don't build anything.

 

J: No.

 

M: So, if you got a client. Who brought a stock at 8, and now it's at 16.

 

M: He is all fu..ing happy, he wants to cash it, and liquidate.

 

J: He wants to take his money and run home.

 

M: You don't let them do that.

 

J: Okay.

 

M: Because that would make it real.

 

J: Right.

 

M: Now, what do you do? You got another bright idea. A special idea. Another situation, another stock, to reinvest his earnings and then some.

 

M: And he will, every single time. As they're fu..ing addicted. And you just keep doing this, again, and again, and again.

 

M: Meanwhile, he thinks, he is getting shit rich, on paper.

 

M: But you and me, the brokers? We taking home cold hard cash.

 

J: Right! That's incredible, sir.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wife: Honey my stomach is getting bigger i think i am pregnant!

 

Husband: Ya, and i know who's the daddy !!!!

 

Wife : Who ?

 

Husband : McDonalds / Pizza Hut / Dominoz

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Learning Forex is very easy as we can avail all the information online. We can check out the trends of forex as well as connect to the best broker to known indepth.
    • There are millions of people who are earning profit from forex market, so ti understand the market fluctuations and scenario is very important. One can build up this by Trading in forex and practicing on it by strategically planning to trade.
    • Date : 28th February 2020. “Fear” dominates the market 28th February“Fear” dominates the market – The COVID-19 virus has cropped up in sub-Saharan Africa and New Zealand for the first time. Markets remain firmly in the grip of virus fears and global stock markets continue to sell off globally.Always trade with strict risk management. Your capital is the single most important aspect of your trading business.Please note that times displayed based on local time zone and are from time of writing this report.Click HERE to access the full HotForex Economic calendar.Want to learn to trade and analyse the markets? Join our webinars and get analysis and trading ideas combined with better understanding on how markets work. Click HERE to register for FREE!Click HERE to READ more Market news. Andria Pichidi Market Analyst HotForex Disclaimer: This material is provided as a general marketing communication for information purposes only and does not constitute an independent investment research. Nothing in this communication contains, or should be considered as containing, an investment advice or an investment recommendation or a solicitation for the purpose of buying or selling of any financial instrument. All information provided is gathered from reputable sources and any information containing an indication of past performance is not a guarantee or reliable indicator of future performance. Users acknowledge that any investment in FX and CFDs products is characterized by a certain degree of uncertainty and that any investment of this nature involves a high level of risk for which the users are solely responsible and liable. We assume no liability for any loss arising from any investment made based on the information provided in this communication. This communication must not be reproduced or further distributed without our prior written permission.
    • A History Of Consecutive -3% Days (Decline) https://seekingalpha.com/article/4327321-history-of-consecutiveminus-3-days by Ploutos CFA Summary The global spread of the coronavirus has pushed the S&P 500 down 3% on consecutive days. That is a fairly rare occurrence for markets with only 15 occurrences of consecutive down days of that magnitude since the Great Depression. When these types of consecutive down days occur outside of economic recessions, markets have tended to recover and move sharply higher over the next year. With the epidemic slipping towards a pandemic, the extent of economic damage remains unknown.  Markets are selling rich valuations and pricing in negative outcomes. +------------------------------------------------------------------------------+ The Difference this time is, the decline has occured after consecutively achieving market highs With the last Bear Market in 2008 The sharp pullback which the News is crediting it to the Virus How do a Technician Interpret on the Chart without the news  factor ? I would earmarked it as an first important indication (in built fear) occuring in the US President Election Year It would be better to review Gold & USD Chart for Safety and Fear What remains to be observed approaching US Presidential Election is;  If the Gold Price Continue to Hold & remain Higher and Will USD perform Strong With Historical Low Interest Rates Gold is Good Asset to offset Risk. Interesting thing to observe will be Cryptos and related Stocks & Technology I think some exposure to Crypto is Quintessential (Around the Sell in May and Go Away Season of Correction) Awaiting some opportunity ...........   .........   .......  ...... Play if Safe with Stop Loss but also some Protection in Place or Fear will provoke your primitive Mind and Take over.   Enjoy Minoo  
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.