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Showing results for tags 'joke'.
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I don't know about you, but I like a good joke. Let's face it, we're all wound up in the markets, sometimes a joke takes the edge off... or at least brings a smile to your face. I'll start the ball rolling. Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who the best patients to operate on are. The first surgeon, from New York says, I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. The second, from Chicago , responds, Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded. The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, No I really, think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order. The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: You know I like construction workers, those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over. But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC shut them all up when he observed: You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.
Well, I did a search and I couldn't find a thread for jokes...so here goes. I got this one from my Dad a few days ago and enjoyed it. ------------------------------------------------- WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS Subject: WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS Dear Phil,: I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Lusk Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Phil