[SIUYA]

oldies.....

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum
cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I
quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought
to myself, they've lost the plot!!

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can
get one cheaper off the web.

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was
sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself
'that guy's heading for a breakdown.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe
that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . "Bugger that" says
Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do
you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest p* nis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my
leg!"

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she
was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the
foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my @rse! Do you think I should change
dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would
like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

[mike21]

E-Trade Baby Loses*Everything - YouTube

E-Trade Baby Loses*Everything - YouTube

[khamore1]

I'm not sure if I should place this information here or under the title news of the day, here is a true story:

"Woman Born With Two Vaginas"
1 in a million medical conditions. Known as uterus didelphys, it can more easily be described by saying she was born with two vaginas


I sure would be happy if my wife had two vaginas

[Tams]

Originally Posted by khamore1 »

I'm not sure if I should place this information here or under the title news of the day, here is a true story:

"Woman Born With Two Vaginas"
1 in a million medical conditions. Known as uterus didelphys, it can more easily be described by saying she was born with two vaginas


I sure would be happy if my wife had two vaginas

what can you do with 2 vaginas?


[puzzled]

[MightyMouse]

Originally Posted by khamore1 »

I'm not sure if I should place this information here or under the title news of the day, here is a true story:

"Woman Born With Two Vaginas"
1 in a million medical conditions. Known as uterus didelphys, it can more easily be described by saying she was born with two vaginas


I sure would be happy if my wife had two vaginas

Why? I wish mine had none. She would have no bargaining power.

[khamore1]

Originally Posted by Tams »

what can you do with 2 vaginas?


[puzzled]

I don't know..... I never had a wife with two vaginas

[bobcollett]

Originally Posted by khamore1 »

I'm not sure if I should place this information here or under the title news of the day, here is a true story:

"Woman Born With Two Vaginas"
1 in a million medical conditions. Known as uterus didelphys, it can more easily be described by saying she was born with two vaginas


I sure would be happy if my wife had two vaginas

Hi khamore
It sounds like you have that condition, double penislytis
regards bobc

[SIUYA]

This above quick non-pc talk gave me a great coffee spitting moment - thanks.

Last week I was introduced to two new things.
1....as it too long and varied to put in here.....google
"Goldman Sachs elevator talk" for some great non-pc one liners.
mainly - http://twitter.com/gselevator

2....for those not easily offended, if you can watch/go see the musical the Book of Morman from the guys at south park. Hilarious and offensive.....and yet strangely uplifting and spiritual. (If you are easily offended dont - there is no discussion to be had here)