Coulda woulda shoulda

[james_gsx]

I found an old blog that I wrote back in February when I still worked at Best Buy. For some reason it really kicked me in the butt to get going and I started working really hard with my trading. Now here I am, in the same position. Everything seems to be slowing down, everything will get down tomorrow, and I never seem to act. I sleep in all the time, get work done late, and I have little motivation. Yet reading the quotes I found in my blog I find myself wondering why I'm not doing anything. I can't be successful without doing anything. I have a ton of respect for those of you who get on every morning and trade, I need to find a way where I can discipline myself to do the same.


These is the last part of my blog, tell me what you all think about it.

	Quote:
	I need to start trading today, it will pay off. If I start now and fail, so what? I will find a way to get back up and do it again. I love to learn, some may disagree since my little high school incident, but I really do. I just learn, and don't do anything. Thats pointless and I'm seriously sitting here going to waste. I need to stop whining and do something. Starting now, not next month, not next week. But right now. I don't want to look back and say, wow I should have done that, I could have, and I would have. Too many people do it, including myself. I need to execute. Read these great quotes from Roosevelt: "...the man who really counts in the world is the doer, not the mere critic-the man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who only talks or writes about how it ought to be done." (1891) "Criticism is necessary and useful; it is often indispensable; but it can never take the place of action, or be even a poor substitute for it. The function of the mere critic is of very subordinate usefulness. It is the doer of deeds who actually counts in the battle for life, and not the man who looks on and says how the fight ought to be fought, without himself sharing the stress and the danger." (1894) "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." (1910)

[thetradingdoctor]

This is great stuff, james gsx, and my heart goes out to you? It is one thing to read such fantastic motivational quotes, much the same as traders go from book to book looking for the Holy Grail and end up with tons of books and maybe a pearl or two.

You appear to be doing the same thing now as you were in February.

What do you think is holding you back from doing what you seem to think you should be doing? Are you sad, depressed, going through some awful time with a relationship? Or, are have you been losing more than winning lately?

What do you believe is the reason or reasons that you are sleeping in and procrastinating?

How many others on this forum have had similar experiences or insights to share with james?


Thanks!

Doctor Janice

[Nvesta81]

If you have trouble getting up in the morning to trade perhaps trading is not your true passion? I use to have trouble getting up in the morning for work because I hated my job but since I'm now a full time trader I eagerly anticipate every new day to wake up and trade. This business is hard even for those who love it --I definitely don't recommend you do it if you're not truly passionate about it...

I guess the only advice I can give is it shouldn't be something you have to force upon yourself, it should be something you enjoy doing. If I'm totally wrong here, perhaps like the Doctor says, you may have other things in your life right now that you need to resolve to get that motivation you seek.

[Soultrader]

I agree with Nvesta. When I go to the office, I keep my head high because I absolutely love what I do and not many people can say that. If Im tired (which I usually am from lack of sleep), I suck it up with 3 quick cups of coffee. By the end of day I usually have 6-8 cans of coffee in me. Sleeping in usually indicates a sign of depression and fear. You dread waking up because you fear the task you are dealt with. I myself have gone through this in the past. (not with trading) My advice is that if you are having difficulties achieving success in trading... observe, learn, and paper trade for a while. Build some confidence in your trading, gain some insights and go after your dream when you are ready. I rushed myself early in my trading career because I was so hungry to achieve success. That actually stalled my progress for 1.5 years and found myself in debt. Hunger and motivation is good... but in this game, you cant rush too fast because your capital flies as fast as you rush. In the early stages, focus on crafting your skill. Through time, experience, and expertise in one market/strategy/methodology, money will flow naturally. Once youve built the foundation, then you can start trading aggressively.

[Nick1984]

I think that age has a lot to do with it. You're still in your teens and even though I'm not very much older than you, when I think back I can still remember that I was a very different person now than I was 4 years ago.

In reading a lot of your posts since you joined to forum I think that what you've done is that you're trying to grow up too quickly. You're a very mature young man with a good head on your shoulders but you also seem to be in a real rush to become a successful entrepreneur, a millionaire before you're thirty etc. These are a lot of pressures that you're heaping upon your shoulders and it's no wonder you can feel down.

Why don't you just take some time off trading for a long time and just enjoy your youth while you still have it? Go on an overseas trip for a whole year and see the world. Expand your cultural horizons. Go see Venice, the Eiffel Tower, The Great Wall of China, the Pyramids etc... These are experiences that will live on with you your whole life. Have wild flings with random chicks and enjoy being reckless while you still don't have all the responsibilities that full adult life brings. You have your whole life ahead of you to worry about that stuff!

I don't think that things like paper trading etc will be a cure to your ills. Always remember "you're only as young as the woman you feel" heheh had to throw that in.

On a totally unrelated note and small hijack: Soul, you have coffee in cans in Japan? Is it carbonated..? lol sounds funny.

[james_gsx]

I've noticed I do this just before I get a break in my life. For example back in February I felt like this just before I started using real money, now I'm about to get my series 7. It's almost as if I hit the brakes before making the move.

I'm not afraid to trade when I wake up in the morning, I'm just too tired to move. I did the same thing my last year of high school maybe it is depression I don't know.

Going on a year long trip sounds like a great idea, but I don't have the kind of money to do that lol My parents wouldn't approve of it either, they view it as if I'm not in school then I should be doing something productive with my life.

I'm not very passionate about my job at Nordstrom, I like the people I work with but I have no motivation going in every morning. I'd much rather be at home trading, but I don't seem to do much of that either. I'm either a very hard, dedicated worker that doesn't stop or I just sit around and watch the world go by. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium, and it all goes in phases. I'm going to Texas Saturday to visit my sister for a week. I really think that will help get my mind off of everything.

A lot of it simply comes down to self discipline. I need it to go to bed at night, not 3 am like I usually do. I need it to push myself out of bed and not think about how comfortable my bed is. I need it to want to be successful, I have to remind myself that great things don't come easy. A trading life won't be handed to me, I have to work for it. Tonight I get home at 10, and I will make sure I'm in bed by 11 so I can get up at 5:30 tomorrow and write my trading plan. If I write the plan tonight then I will get distracted like usual and I won't go to bed until 3. If I don't follow through with this plan I am only hurting myself, so I have to ask myself how serious I really am about everything.

[Soultrader]

Youre right on point james. Trading alone is difficult at times to continously discpline yourself. Try to get into the habit of that work schedule and lifestyle. I think I heard this from Hubert before but a habit takes repitition of no less than 21 consectuve days in order for it to become a habit. Really focus on creating that lifestyle rotating around trading. Remember trading is not entertainment or a hobby. It is a life-time dedication and if you can retire successfully from it by the time you are late 30's consider it an amazing achievement. Im usually in bed by 11pm and up by 5am everyday. I am pushing myself now because trading is my passion. Yet, I do not plan to trade when im over 40. (ideally) I have alot of other things I want to do in my lifetime.

[brownsfan019]

James_gsx,
It looks like to me that you lack the motivation at times to be serious about your trading. And that's fine at your age. I don't recall your exact age, but I believe you are a teenager or thereabouts. It's ok to jump around from things at your age. That's part of growing up. The markets are not going anywhere. Right now you should try a few different things and see what you like the best. If it ends up the market is where you want to be here, she'll be here with open arms waiting for your return.

With that being said, it looks like when you are dedicated to your trading that you have your stuff together. If you find that trading is what you want to do seriously, you have plenty to build off of. In my opinion, you are light years ahead of kids your age. I wish I had learned of TA and all that when I was in high school or college.

Don't stress to much about this James, just enjoy your time as a young adult. It goes by WAY too fast. Before you know it, you'll have a mortgage, wife and kids to feed.

[thetradingdoctor]

Hi James,

Thank you for stepping up and asking for help and guidance. If you don't mind sharing in total anonymity ( except for your screen name), please tell me something about your living situation, your work schedule and your trading schedule? This will really help me understand better what is going on with you.

My concern, like others on this list, is that you might be trying to push yourself in too many directions at one time. Often when this happens, our brain and body become very confused, don't know what to do and shut down ( so as to do nothing). I see this in certain types of behaviors related to depression, attention-deficit or obsessive-compulsive traits.

It is possible that you are just too busy to do any one thing and do it so well that you actuallly enjoy it. Why is it that you do not get home until 10PM? How can you possibly expect to be functional at anything ( let alone get up at 5:30 or 6 in the morning, when you go to bed at 3 AM?

Everyone needs adequate rest, down time, thinking time and time to be human BE-ings rather than human DO-ings.

Please let me hear from you about what is going on, James and thanks!


Also, James---I adore you, but I am totally concerned about the amount of caffeine you are taking in. Caffeine in moderation actually has beneficial effects, but if you are using it as a crutch to stay alert, you are risking dependence on caffeine and possible deleterious effects on your health as you get older. I realize you are young now, and probably lots of people in your office are living on coffee and maybe cigarettes and maybe other substances. Please do what you can to begin detoxing your physical system. Your body and your trading will love you for it in the years to come.

If anyone on this thread has questions about diet, exercise and how to get and stay strong and healthy so as to be alive to trade for many years, please do not hesitate to ask me?

Thanks!

Doctor Janice

[james_gsx]

lol I am dependent on caffeine, it's gotten better but if I don't drink any for a few days I can feel the taste of Pepsi out of a cold can in my mouth and I crave one. I used to have mood swings (I would get really hyper when I needed a Pepsi). Soda doesn't keep me awake anymore, I just crave the flavor from the can (for some reason it's just the can and not any other form).

As far as my living situation - I live at home with my mom and her good friend who is more like a step dad. I work 9 - 10 hours a day at Nordstrom 5 days a week. Usually from 11-8 or 12-9 or 10. From there I go home and my second wave of energy hits and I stay awake all night. I go to bed anywhere from 2-3 am then wake up (or try) at 7 or 8 am. I've been doing this for years when I was in high school, when I sleep more than 6 hours I wake up with a bad headache and I feel like crap all day.

Once I get home from work - usually around 10 - I immediately hop on the computer and look at my charts. I do all that work and check the internals, etc. I send out a few emails to friends in the market and we discuss different strategies and things like that. I probably stop all my trading work around 12 am after I get home from work. After that I just sit around and watch tv and talk to friend then go to bed just to do it all again the next day.

There is a big reason behind why I work so much though. My mom used to be a major workaholic (still is though). She worked for PwC as a consultant and spent all her time traveling and I saw her maybe twice a week if I was lucky. I loved the money she made and the lifestyle. When my parents got divorced everything fell apart and now my mom makes half of what she used to make and lost her motivation. She still works an easy 12 hours a day but is plagued with debt. I made a vow to myself to never be in the same situation. I loved the lifestyle we had and I had a sneak peak to how much better it was for the really wealthy and successful people (I met a lot of her bosses who were making 2+ million a year). After that I loved the taste of success and was always looking for ways to be successful.

I can honestly say it's not about the money, it's about the feeling of being successful. When I was in 11th grade I got 1st place at state for a business plan I wrote and that was my first real taste of success. We flew to California for nationals and I had an idiot judge and I got up and walked away during the role play. Since then I have lost that motivation - it comes in waves but it has never been what it was.

I have come to realize I live two realities, a normal 19 year old that makes good money at Nordstrom and a young trader that has the potential to do great things and I think I'm really wealthy. Unfortunately I try to mix the two and I put myself in a lot of debt to get a taste of the lifestyle I want but I can't afford it and half the time I don't want to admit it. That keeps up at night sometimes and that puts a lot of pressure on my trading, because I get frustrated that I'm not there yet. But when I start trading, I forget about everything it's just me and the markets. It's like when I used to play soccer, I forget about everything and focus on the game everything else is a blur.

I understand I'm young and I've had a lot of people tell me to take a break. But you know just as well as I do how hard it is to take a break from this industry. It is truly addicting, and I feel if I take a break then that is more time I am doing nothing and the higher chance that I will continue to do nothing. Whereas if I'm working and finding ways to improve then I will always be successful and working hard.