TL Joke Thread

[Nick1984]

A Texas gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of
Merlot to an attractive woman.

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This
is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking
at the man, and decided tosend a reply note to the man. The waiter, who
was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to
the gentleman.

The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need
to have a Mercedes in your garage,a million dollars in the bank, and 7
inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the Texan decided to compose one
of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter, and
instructed him to return this to the woman.

It read:
"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW
Z8, a Mercedes CL600, a Porsche Turbo, Toyota Prius, and Matrix, in my
garage, beautiful homes in Aspen, Colorado and Miami, and a 10,000 acre
ranch in Texas.
There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account.
But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches
off.
Just send the bottle back!!!

[Nick1984]

Two cannibals are sitting over a fire roasting a clown they abducted from a travelling circus. One of them leans over rips off a hunk of flesh from the spit and pops it into his mouth. He chews for a few seconds with a confused look on his face, swallows, then rips off another piece of meat and hands it to his mate and asks "Hey does this taste funny to you?"

[Sparrow]

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest>
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said 'tits'