[BlowFish]

Well I thought Id get in quick and jump into the Docs chair.

I think I am reasonably far along the path of a trader but there are a few things I would like to improve.

The main one is closing trades before they can work properly. Sometimes I might hesitate entering but that is rarer. Managing trades would be the umberella term. I think this is routed in fear - fear of being wrong probably more than fear of loseing capital on the trade. I think this is in part due to trying to seek some sort of validation in the market. I absolutely know I could do much better (though I am profitable). This is efecting my sense of self worth despite everything being pretty lined up in the rest of my life. Its frustrating to know the very subconcious things that think they are helping are the only obstacles to a job well done. (And really a job well done is more of a motivator than the $$).

When I worked I was respected (and renumerated) for my views and my knowledge. Of course the market dosent give a cr*p about my views or knowledge - not a great background for a trader! I guess this is something to do with it and is rooted in the ego needing stroking. Yeah yeah I know if I executed flawlessly then I would actually deserve a pat on the back.

The problem manfests itself almost completely subconciously...it sudenlly grabs the reins and clicks to close. Its almost like I conciously black out for a moment. I am sure 'it' thinks its trying to protect me but of course we all know thats not the case. I am trying enormously hard to confront this and have been doing better staying 'concious' for longer.

I trade pretty short time frames as ths minimises the effect of the malaise. I'd actually like to pick time frame by preference rather than have it dictated by a trading fault!!

Anyway I hope that this is of interest to you and other potential patients. I look forward to your thoughts.

Cheers.
Nick